You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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