i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
