But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize