His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
