How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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