forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
