This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
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