So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
