: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
