I cannot find my penis.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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