Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
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