Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Randomize
