Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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