This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
