Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
