she kept yelling 'call me bella'
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
