I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
