i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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