I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Randomize
