Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
