Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Houston, we have a squirter
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
