you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
