Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize
