how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Randomize
