And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
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The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
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Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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