once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Randomize
