when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Randomize
