oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
well most of my day revolves around power hour
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
