went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize
