cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
