i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
