Tell her she can't have a vagina
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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