I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize