Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
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