I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
