I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
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