I just made out with a guy for $7.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
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