You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
