my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
