So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
