Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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