you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
