He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
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