One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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