can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Randomize
