she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!