We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
What a dumb baby whore.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
