tell your sister to shave her snatch
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
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