Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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