Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
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