your room smells of hookers.
And success
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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