I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Randomize
