hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
