Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Randomize