I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Sober January is a disaster.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
