So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Randomize
