Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Just pee around me
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Randomize
