Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Randomize
