went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
