One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
How does one acquire holy water?
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
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