we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
My vagina just clenched in fear
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