my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
