I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize